Is He Seeing a Sex Worker?
In any relationship, trust is the foundation that helps partners feel secure and valued. However, when trust is broken, particularly through infidelity, it can lead to a wave of emotional and legal complications.
One of the most devastating forms of infidelity is when a spouse engages in relationships with prostitutes.
Suspecting that your husband may be engaging in such behavior can feel overwhelming. While some signs may be subtle, there are often patterns or behaviors that can signal this type of infidelity. These situations are emotionally taxing and complex.
As family law attorneys, we wanted to write an article exploring 10 common signs that may indicate your husband is seeing prostitutes and provides steps to consider if you believe this is happening.
1. Unexplained Financial Transactions
One of the most common indicators that a husband may be engaging with prostitutes (also called escorts, hookers, call girls, sex workers, or providers, among other names) is sudden or frequent unexplained withdrawals or charges on bank accounts or credit cards. These transactions may occur at odd times or in unusual locations, such as hotels, nightclubs, or out-of-town areas where the husband doesn’t normally travel for work or social events. Pay attention to charges from anonymous-sounding businesses, vague service companies, or transactions marked as “entertainment” with little explanation.
Additionally, the use of cash might increase as cash payments are often preferred by prostitutes and leave less of a paper trail.
What You Can Do:
Check your shared financial records, credit card statements, and ATM withdrawals for patterns of unexplained transactions. If needed, a forensic accountant can help you trace questionable spending habits.
2. Sudden Change in Sexual Behavior
A noticeable shift in your husband’s sexual behavior can also be a warning sign. This could include a decrease in interest in intimacy with you or, conversely, an increased desire for sex but with behaviors that seem unfamiliar or uncharacteristic. He may introduce new sexual acts or language that weren’t previously part of your relationship, suggesting he has learned them elsewhere.
What You Can Do:
If you notice this shift, it’s important to try and open a conversation. While this topic can be difficult, understanding where these behaviors are coming from may give you insight into your husband’s recent activities.
3. Secrecy Around Phone or Computer Usage
A husband who is seeing escorts may become increasingly secretive about his phone or computer usage. He may begin locking his phone, deleting messages or call logs, or using incognito mode while browsing the internet. Additionally, if he uses encrypted messaging apps or dating apps specifically designed for discreet encounters, this could be a red flag.
Another sign is frequent or prolonged phone calls or messages at odd hours, which may be an indicator of setting up meetings.
What You Can Do:
If your husband suddenly changes his behavior around technology or starts using apps and communication methods that seem secretive, this could be a sign. While it’s crucial to respect privacy, it may be wise to discuss why he feels the need to hide his phone or computer activity.
4. Unusual Time Away from Home
Has your husband started spending more time away from home under vague or questionable circumstances? Frequent business trips, late-night meetings, or unexplained absences that are poorly explained can raise suspicions. Prostitutes often work during the night, so if your husband is regularly staying out late or disappears during times he normally would be home, this could be a concern.
What You Can Do:
Try to track the timing of these unexplained absences and compare them with other signs. Is there a pattern emerging? Also, reaching out to his friends, coworkers, or even his workplace to confirm his whereabouts might provide clarity.
5. Changes in Grooming and Appearance
If your husband suddenly becomes more focused on his appearance—such as working out excessively, buying new clothes, or changing his grooming habits—without any clear explanation, it may indicate he is trying to impress someone else. While self-improvement is not inherently suspicious, a dramatic change without context could be a red flag.
For example, if your husband never cared much for his appearance before but now regularly gets haircuts, invests in expensive colognes, or purchases new wardrobe items, you might want to consider whether this change is motivated by someone outside of the marriage.
What You Can Do:
While self-care is important, if your husband’s new grooming habits seem inconsistent with his usual behavior, this might be worth addressing. Ask if he’s doing this for work or another reason to gauge his response.
6. Frequent Use of Social Media and Dating Apps
Many prostitutes advertise their services online through various platforms, including social media and dating apps. If you notice your husband suddenly becoming more active on these platforms or using apps he previously had no interest in, it could be a sign he is seeking out such services.
Frequent visits to social media profiles of strangers, excessive following of accounts related to nightlife, adult entertainment, or escort services are also signs to watch for.
What You Can Do:
Look for changes in his social media habits or if he’s using apps that are known for facilitating illicit activities. Be cautious, though—hacking into accounts or violating privacy laws can have legal consequences, so speak to a legal advisor if you're unsure how to proceed.
7. Unusual Phone Numbers or Contacts
Another sign that may point to infidelity involving prostitutes is the presence of unusual phone numbers, saved contacts under fake names, or frequent calls and texts from unknown numbers. Often, clients who hire escorts will save these contacts under pseudonyms to hide their activity.
If you notice your husband guarding his phone more than usual, declining calls when you’re nearby, or taking phone calls in private, this could be a red flag.
What You Can Do:
Keep track of any unfamiliar phone numbers or contacts you notice on his phone. You might consider using reverse phone lookup services to see if the numbers are linked to escort services or suspicious activities.
8. Smell of Perfume or Unexplained Stains
If your husband comes home smelling like perfume that isn’t yours or has unexplained stains on his clothes, these can be physical indicators of infidelity. While this evidence may not always lead directly to the conclusion of him seeing prostitutes, it does suggest that he may be spending time with other women.
What You Can Do:
If you notice this, try confronting him in a calm manner. Sometimes physical evidence can be the most direct way to address suspicions.
9. Increased Defensiveness or Anger
When confronted with even mild questions about his whereabouts or behavior, if your husband becomes extremely defensive or angry, it may be a sign of guilt. Many men who are engaged in illicit activities will become hostile when they sense they are being caught, hoping that anger will deflect further inquiry.
What You Can Do:
Pay attention to how your husband reacts when you ask simple questions. Does he try to turn the conversation around and blame you? Does he overreact to innocent inquiries? These reactions can be telling.
10. Friends or Coworkers’ Behavior
Sometimes the company someone keeps can be a reflection of their behavior. If your husband’s friends or coworkers seem to exhibit behavior that is aligned with frequenting prostitutes, or if your husband suddenly starts hanging out with people who encourage such activities, it may be worth considering whether this is influencing his behavior.
What You Can Do:
Notice who your husband spends time with, and observe whether their influence seems to correlate with any of the suspicious behaviors listed above. If the social environment your husband is involved in promotes infidelity or high-risk behavior, this could be a key factor.
What To Do If You Suspect Your Husband Is Seeing Prostitutes
If you suspect that your husband is engaging with prostitutes, this can be a deeply painful realization. However, gathering evidence before confronting him is crucial for both your emotional clarity and any potential legal implications. If you decide to pursue legal action, documentation of unusual behavior, unexplained finances, or changes in your relationship could become key evidence.
At The Sherman Law Group, we specialize in handling complex family law matters, including divorce, child custody, child support, and related legal issues. Whether you are looking for advice on how to approach your husband or need assistance with legal steps to protect your rights, we are here to help.